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Self-enhancing Cartoons and Jokes
Q: “What’s the difference between a large pizza and a Ph.D. in mathematics?
A: A large pizza can feed a family of four!”
Teacher: If I had five coconuts and I gave you three, how many would I have left?
Student: I don’t know.
Teacher: Why not?
Student: In our school we do all our arithmetic in apples and oranges.
Q: If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have?
A: Big hands!
Q: “What do you get if you add two apples and three apples?
A: A stupid middle school math problem!”
Self-defeating Cartoons and Jokes
I’ve failed the mathematics test so many times I lost count
I’m so bad in math, I once wrote a math test and still failed it.
I’m so bad at math I though binary was a two-headed canary!
I’m so bad at math, so the equation 2n+2n is foreign to me.
|Deception is our Profession||The Wise Old Owl|
|All the world is a stage,||A wise old owl sat in an oak,|
|And we are merely actors,||The more he heard the less he spoke;|
|So why is it we hurt inside,||The less he spoke the less he heard.|
|When we are deceived …||Why aren’t we all like that wise old bird?|
|When our hearts are broken …|
|When acting, deception and lying,|
|Are the elements of our Profession.|
|Nausica. The daughter of a king.|
|Dreams of the pulse of a beating moth.|
|Dreaming of dolphins leaping and turquoise tiles.|
|Nausica earnest as Odysseus tells his stories;|
|How swords gashed echoes from the sky,|
|How heroes clashed, and marked the other,|
|Gorbelled his skull, trophated his endention;|
|Debaunched his orchids, and called forth|
|The hidden pitches of panic|
|Out from their lair of bones.|
|Odysseus on Delos|
|The quick flames eat.|
|The white ash feathers to the sky.|
|The light pours down, as light|
|On Ida and on Samothrace descended,|
|Lucidities of light to make more pitiless|
|All deeds of daylight.|
|God and the Soldier|
|God and the soldier|
|All men adore|
|In time of trouble,|
|And no more;|
|For when the war is over|
|And all things righted,|
|God is neglected—|
|The old soldier slighted.|
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